yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
