Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
