why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you traded sex for a burrito?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
