I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
