dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
