Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
