wanna go halves on a baby?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
