we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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