Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
time to smoke my breakfast
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
