first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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