I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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