ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Drake has all the answers
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
