lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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