I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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