Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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