i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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