I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
