His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
