ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
