he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
