its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
