; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My life is pants optional.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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