marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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