Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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