you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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