Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
