I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Randomize
