He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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