I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Buhtt sex?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
