Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
