Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So vagazzling was a success
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
