Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
