He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
