Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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