I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
