found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
