so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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