I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
