he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
