you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
