Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
