Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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