im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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