Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
