he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize
