I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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