Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
