Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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