people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
