you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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