yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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