Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
