I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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