I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
